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List of Confessions

Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash


One,
You should try writing a love letter to yourself,
I have written one to myself,
it took me 17 years to complete it,
that's also how long it took 
for me to decide 
if I loved myself.

Two,
I believe that the heart is flat 
in our minds,
that's why it is so easy to 
rekindle a wound
and also why 
everything is just a finger's distance from healing.

Three,
I forgot my own phone number
at a cafe coffee day counter,
she kept repeating 
the first few numbers that I had uttered
without giving me space to think,
maybe we are all her 
when it comes to counting our mistakes.

Four,
I have a thing for languages,
both for those I understand and those that I don't, 
I would listen to hours and hours of urdu poetry 
without knowing what it meant,
maybe that is also one kind of silence.

Five,
I have thought too often about 
what I would name myself 
if not for what I have been named,
everytime I think I might be close to an answer,
amma calls me by my name
so dearly 
that I conclude that names aren't made up of letters but by voices that sing it.

(c) Vasanthi

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